Another sitting Shiva story, this one with a spook attached

So now, we skip ahead to 1990 - my father's been diagnosed with cancer, and my parents have convinced me to move into a one bedroom apartment in their complex, mainly by guilting me into agreeing.
Well, the inevitable happened, and my father died one morning in his bed. I was wakened by my mother pounding on my door and ringing my bell to get me to come and see what was happening to my father - for some reason, their phone line was out due to a screwup on Bell South's part and they had no phone - I got there, saw my father was in the middle of a seizure, and immediately flew to the upstairs neighbor to ask to borrow the phone to call 911.
The ambulance came, but did no good, and so the funeral home had to be called and arrangements made. They sent a hearse over, and after they removed the body I went home to change into something more appropriate. I had 2 cats at the time, Luciano and TJ - they were indoor/outdoor, as the apartment complex was quite large and there were expansive woods nearby.
Well, I got home and both were at the door wanting to come in. Then I opened the door, and neither would set foot inside - this next statement is going to sound so off the wall I'm almost ashamed to type it, however it's what I did, so here goes - I put myself into a light state of trance to see what the issue was, and found my father's spook (yeah, I know it's not the PC term) hovering near me, trying to figure out what the fuck had just happened.
My next actions may seem heartless to some, however I saw them as the required thing to do - I immediately told him that he had died, that he needed to go into the Light - this apparently didn't do anything for him, as I had to resort to stronger measures. I consecrated some salt and water, and Banished him from the apartment, telling him to go to the Light - apparently that worked, because he was then gone. And the cats came in the apartment immediately afterward.

That ends the spook part of this post - however there is an addendum to this tale that I'll post later.

So, we're sitting Shiva for my father - and I'm on my best behavior because I have an ounce of some sweet marijuana in my apartment, because when the relatives get on my last nerve, I go to my apartment and fire up a quick one. And my nerves improve.
Well, add to the cast of characters, my cousin's fiance - Laurie, who's major claim to fame is the fact that she's the Service Merchandise heiress. Ultra nouveau riche, speaks with an affected Bryn Mahr accent, and so plastic she'd melt in a high heat. Needless to say, I wasn't impressed by her when I met her, and didn't worship the ground she walked on like the rest of the relatives did simply because of her bank balance.
Well, Laurie came in with her future MIL, my Aunt Patty - and she brings this humongous deli platter - (Jews, like Southerners, believe in food as therapy for mourners) - cold cuts, cheeses, garnishes, the works - and I see this as my opportunity to leave. And I do, planning on coming back after some self medication.
I come back, and I find my mother sitting at the kitchen table, and Laurie trying to say how things are going to be, for example how my mother should be put into a home, they need to downsize the apartment, etc etc.
And I immediately fired this off - "Excuse me - you're not even a member of this family yet - and when you do become a member of this family, it's going to be by marriage not blood. And no, I don't give a shit what your bank balance is, trash is trash. Now get the fuck out of my face!" - this caused her to storm off, and my Aunt to go running after her. I never found out what got said, but that was the last time I ever saw Laurie again, even though she married my cousin.
There was one occasion about a year later, where we were supposed to have dinner with my Aunt, my cousin, Laurie and my mother, and I had planned on being saccharine sweet, saying "Laurie, have you put on weight?? Oh my God, you're pregnant, aren't you? Come on, tell me... you are, aren't you?" ... however that dinner got cancelled because she actually was pregnant.

Shiva and the Gossipy Aunt

So it's after my sister's funeral, and my parents are sitting Shiva at their apartment. All of my mother's family and extended family are in attendance, and mysteriously none of my father's family are present.
I didn't find out the reason for that until a few years later - my father's sister was in California, and so was legitimately excused, however my father's brother lived in Indiana, and indeed when he was called to inform him of the tragedy, wanted find out the funeral arrangements, however was told not to come by my mother.
So there I am, sitting next to my mother, surrounded by my mother's extended family, trying to ignore what she'd said only days before, and tell her that Jolene's in a better place now - she's with God. Your basic spiritual pablum, when there's nothing else you can say -
And my Aunt Babe heard me telling her this - and proceeded to gather the women into the kitchen. When she got there, she immediately started in on how I was trying to console my mother, saying "can you believe what he's telling her?" and things of that nature -

I politely excused myself from my mother's side, stood up and went into the kitchen.

I *slammed* my hand down on the kitchen table and looked Babe right in the eye as I said: "Excuse me...this is a time of great grief and mourning for myself and my family and I would appreciate it if you would take your hen party elsewhere!"
At that moment, Lord Colin snapped his fingers, called my name and managed to get me out of there before anything else was said. I found out later that when she tried to complain about what I had said and done that her brother-in-law told her "to shut up because I was completely right".

This really didn't sit too well with Babe. Our relationship was never the same afterwards, and she took great pains to make sure my life was a living hell whenever it crossed her path.
For example, I used to march in the Gay Pride Parade every year - well, over the years the parade path has changed, along with other features - however this was back when the march was honestly political and not economic. 'Nuff said about that.

So the parade path this particular year is down Peachtree Street to the steps of the Capital - and I'm marching along with everyone else, and while I can't remember how it happened, somehow I ended up on one of the parade cars, a Cadillac convertible, with a female impersonator named Mickey Day.
So we're riding along, having a great time, and I happen to look at the buildings we're passing...it so happens that my Uncle Milt had an optometry shop, on Peachtree at Little 5 Points, conveniently right along the parade route - Uncle Milt, however, had died some 10 years ago, leaving the shop to his wife, who is, you guessed it, Aunt Babe.
I look out over the crowd, and who do I see in the window of said shop? Aunt Babe.
Who has a phone glued to her ear? Aunt Babe.

Fast forward to my getting home - I've moved back in with the parents, as this is within 2 months of the accident. I get home, and the first thing my mother greets me with is "your Aunt Patty called and wanted to know why you were marching in the Gay Pride parade! What am I supposed to tell her?" I looked at her like she was crazy and said "that's funny, Aunt Babe was the one who saw me from the window of the shop - but Aunt Patty was the one who called? Tell her the truth! I'm gay!"
My mother immediately shot that down, saying "I can't tell her that!" - so I told her to say that I was "marching for Human Rights" ... something she apparently found acceptable, because she flew to the phone to call Aunt Patty and tell her this.
Needless to say, I avoided alone time with her after this - but family gatherings did tend to be ... interesting to say the least.