Well, it arrived - the summary of the non-identifying information about my adoption.
And, as it turns out, the majority of my theories about the circumstances surrounding my adoption were correct, however as it turns out, my biological father isn't listed in the case record, and there is little to no further information about my birth mother's family either.
However, to quote: "According to the case record, the attorney who handled your adoption had handled several legal matters for your adoptive mother's family for years. <side note, this I already knew from Blake, who referred to him as "a crook" - coming from another lawyer, hard to tell if that's praise or judgement> He was aware of your adoptive parents' desire for a child and their inability to conceive children of their own. A few weeks prior to your birth, the attorney notified your adoptive parents of your birth mother's plan of adoption for you. Your birth mother 'was not able to provide a suitable home' for you. Shortly after your birth, the attorney took you to meet your adoptive parents and you were lovingly welcomed into their home. < I love how they editorialize and use "lovingly welcomed"... > Your adoptive parents paid the hospital bills and possibly for some of your birth mother's expenses. "
I was right. I was paid for.
Seems the Department of Public Welfare attempted to interview her, however she wasn't at the address listed in the case record. She signed me over to Sam & Faye on February 18, 1961, with the adoption finalized on August 3rd 1962.
There has been no contact with Georgia Adoption Registry from any member of my birth family since then.
Well, where do I go now? I'm wondering about paying the $300 to try and find her.
I wonder what I'll get with the $300?
What if they find her and she says "no" ? That's always a possibility.
Wow. This even overshadows your birth, Andrea. Sorry about that, I'm still thrilled beyond mortal comprehension that you're here and safe and healthy, but right now I've got this thrown on my plate, all about my birth and my adoption, and the potential for finding my birth mother.
And it's going to be an interesting next couple of months, lemme tell you.
Enough for now, I posted what I needed to, i.e. the verification of my theories surrounding my adoption.
I was right. Hell yeah, that does feel good.
Showing posts with label adoption. Show all posts
Showing posts with label adoption. Show all posts
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Saturday, December 8, 2007
Biologicals, part 2c
In kicking off this search for my biologicals, I have tried to ensure the success of this venture in every way I can think of.
To this end, I have gotten a quote of $1350 from a search agency to find my birth mother.
Since I've only recently requested the information in my file, I have no way of knowing whether there's a no-contact order in place, whether she's registered with the program and is looking for me, or exactly what the situation is.
In speaking with the sales person/case worker for the search service, I did glean more information however; things such as my biological mother's age at the time of my birth was probably between 14 and 19, that indeed, based on my mother's age at the time of my adoption, it had to have been "private".
Infants, especially white infant males didn't get put in households with 50+ year old women as first children, even in the 1960's. And then to follow it up 2.5 years later with a baby girl.
I can remember when she was brought home, and how she was still bleeding from the umbilical cord - Jolene's adoption will have to remain a mystery, since I'm not legally allowed to persue that.
Mine, on the other hand, you'll see unfolding before you.
I guess this is what they mean by a blog evolving.
To this end, I have gotten a quote of $1350 from a search agency to find my birth mother.
Since I've only recently requested the information in my file, I have no way of knowing whether there's a no-contact order in place, whether she's registered with the program and is looking for me, or exactly what the situation is.
In speaking with the sales person/case worker for the search service, I did glean more information however; things such as my biological mother's age at the time of my birth was probably between 14 and 19, that indeed, based on my mother's age at the time of my adoption, it had to have been "private".
Infants, especially white infant males didn't get put in households with 50+ year old women as first children, even in the 1960's. And then to follow it up 2.5 years later with a baby girl.
I can remember when she was brought home, and how she was still bleeding from the umbilical cord - Jolene's adoption will have to remain a mystery, since I'm not legally allowed to persue that.
Mine, on the other hand, you'll see unfolding before you.
I guess this is what they mean by a blog evolving.
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Biologicals, part 2
Well Andrea, I've started the process to at least get some information about my biologicals. You may wonder why I've been using that term to refer to my genetic parents - the thing is, they're not my real parents, my real parents are Sam and Faye. And nothing can change that. Family comes from where and how and who you love, not genes.
Richard Bach wrote in his book, "Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah" that "it is rare that the members of one family grow up under the same roof."
The family I've "created" is living proof of that - just because we don't share DNA doesn't mean I don't love you like you were my own granddaughter. Never doubt that.
Anyway - back to the subject at hand - I've submitted the initial paperwork, and this is supposed to get me whatever's in my adoption file about my parents non-identifying characteristics.
I'm hoping that it sheds a little more light on the adoption itself, such as how it was achieved.
That is one of my most driving curiousities - I suspect - hell, I actually *expect* that money changed hands for my adoption, what I want to know is who paid for it.
You see, Andrea, Sam was a schoolteacher. And quite frankly, not the best paying job in the world.
On the other hand, all of Faye's siblings had either gone into lucrative careers or married men who did...Pattye married Harry, a CPA; Babe married Milt, an optometrist; Herm was an optometrist, Julius (retired when I was old enough to notice things like this) I believe based on what I can remember of family gossip, had a grocery store at one time and a liquor store at one time.
So, given this data, I theorize that Faye's brothers and sisters pooled their resources and bought me and 2.5 years later, bought Jolene, both to "repay" her for her sacrifices during their childhood (remember, they grew up during the Depression) , the marriages she had helped make, and the fact because she had married so late in life her childbearing years were behind her.
I'll post more about this later.
Richard Bach wrote in his book, "Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah" that "it is rare that the members of one family grow up under the same roof."
The family I've "created" is living proof of that - just because we don't share DNA doesn't mean I don't love you like you were my own granddaughter. Never doubt that.
Anyway - back to the subject at hand - I've submitted the initial paperwork, and this is supposed to get me whatever's in my adoption file about my parents non-identifying characteristics.
I'm hoping that it sheds a little more light on the adoption itself, such as how it was achieved.
That is one of my most driving curiousities - I suspect - hell, I actually *expect* that money changed hands for my adoption, what I want to know is who paid for it.
You see, Andrea, Sam was a schoolteacher. And quite frankly, not the best paying job in the world.
On the other hand, all of Faye's siblings had either gone into lucrative careers or married men who did...Pattye married Harry, a CPA; Babe married Milt, an optometrist; Herm was an optometrist, Julius (retired when I was old enough to notice things like this) I believe based on what I can remember of family gossip, had a grocery store at one time and a liquor store at one time.
So, given this data, I theorize that Faye's brothers and sisters pooled their resources and bought me and 2.5 years later, bought Jolene, both to "repay" her for her sacrifices during their childhood (remember, they grew up during the Depression) , the marriages she had helped make, and the fact because she had married so late in life her childbearing years were behind her.
I'll post more about this later.
Friday, November 30, 2007
Adoption - finding my biologicals
Wow.
I'm finally unpacking the boxes of books, and I came across a set of forms from 1992 - the forms are for identifying the biological parents of adoptees; in 1990, Georgia opened its adoption records, allowing adoptees to gain access to their biological information and possibly contact with their biologicals.
This is something I'd actually considered in 1992, however Faye was still alive and I promised never to search for my biologicals while she was still alive. Due to the circumstances of both my and Jolene's adoptions, I expect that money changed hands, and things might not have been exactly by the book.
Which means, Andrea, that the adoptions were black market; I've wondered and indeed fantasized whether I might not have been one of my cousin's teenage "accidents", however aside from a basic resemblance, I'm doubtful. A psychologist would probably identify that as a desire to actually belong biologically, however peripherally, to the family unit I was raised with.
So, now the issue becomes do I seek out my genetic information, and possibly contact my biological parents? I'm not so concerned with the people as I am the genetics.
I need to know what I'm predisposed to genetically - for example, does diabetes run in the family, or is my current course of treatment just a temporary thing?
How about heart issues? Cancer? Baldness? These are things I need to know - so I'm going to initiate the paperwork to find these things out.
According to the law, there are two categories I can apply for information under - one is genetic information only, no identifying characteristics, and the other is genetic information with the possibility of contact.
I'm going for the contact option. There are a number of questions I need answered about other possibly genetic quirks that can only be asked in person, such as psychic ability (and if that doesn't get me shown the door or hung up on I don't know what will) and other siblings.
Wow. To finally get some answers.
What a head rush.
I'm finally unpacking the boxes of books, and I came across a set of forms from 1992 - the forms are for identifying the biological parents of adoptees; in 1990, Georgia opened its adoption records, allowing adoptees to gain access to their biological information and possibly contact with their biologicals.
This is something I'd actually considered in 1992, however Faye was still alive and I promised never to search for my biologicals while she was still alive. Due to the circumstances of both my and Jolene's adoptions, I expect that money changed hands, and things might not have been exactly by the book.
Which means, Andrea, that the adoptions were black market; I've wondered and indeed fantasized whether I might not have been one of my cousin's teenage "accidents", however aside from a basic resemblance, I'm doubtful. A psychologist would probably identify that as a desire to actually belong biologically, however peripherally, to the family unit I was raised with.
So, now the issue becomes do I seek out my genetic information, and possibly contact my biological parents? I'm not so concerned with the people as I am the genetics.
I need to know what I'm predisposed to genetically - for example, does diabetes run in the family, or is my current course of treatment just a temporary thing?
How about heart issues? Cancer? Baldness? These are things I need to know - so I'm going to initiate the paperwork to find these things out.
According to the law, there are two categories I can apply for information under - one is genetic information only, no identifying characteristics, and the other is genetic information with the possibility of contact.
I'm going for the contact option. There are a number of questions I need answered about other possibly genetic quirks that can only be asked in person, such as psychic ability (and if that doesn't get me shown the door or hung up on I don't know what will) and other siblings.
Wow. To finally get some answers.
What a head rush.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Somewhat back on track
My adoption.
Those two words open a big ole can of worms, so to speak ... and not just your garden variety earthworms and nightcrawlers either, there are some nasty Lovecraftian suckers in that can too.
As I stated previously, my parents were older when I was adopted, my mother was in her 50's and my father in his early 40's.
For the 1960's, not exactly the ideal ages that an agency would award a white male infant to, especially as a first child; later information confirmed this, that I was indeed a "private" adoption, aka "black market".
There are a number of reasons for this, both the adoption and why my parents - while I have nothing concrete to base it on, just the dynamics of the relationships between my mother and her siblings and my father and his, I'm pretty sure I'm close if not dead on.
Simply put, I was a reward. My mother was the oldest daughter, and the first American - as such, I believe she was put upon to help make good marriages for the rest of the family - incidentally, a job she apparently succeeded at, there were no divorces in that generation.
When the rest of the family were settled and producing grandchildren, then it became my mother's turn - exactly how she met my father is something that will never be known, however we were always told it was a blind date.
Regardless, they met and everything went in logical succession - love, engagement, marriage.
However, for whatever reason, and again this is complete conjecture on my part, my mother could not conceive - I believe probably due to her age at the time of her marriage, since my mother was about 15 - 16 years older than my father.
While women giving birth in their 40's and older is somewhat in vogue today due to advances in medical science, this was the late 50's to early 60's and such a thing was completely unheard of.
So, you have a conundrum...one I believe was answered by Fate in the form of teenage hormones. I have long suspected that I might have been fathered by one of my "cousins", however that's one of the Lovecraftian worms that I don't particularly care to deal with right now, so aside from a simple mention, it's not something I'll be addressing at this time.
Suffice it to say that the adoption went through, and about 2.5 years later, I was joined by a baby sister and we became the prototypical "nuclear" family; I've never delved into her adoption, however one memory does come to the fore - seeing her identical twin, in the exact same dress she owned, in the newspaper during a shopping trip.
Nothing more was ever said about that incident except for my parents to remark at the time that the girl in the picture looked exactly like my sister, down to the dress.
Okay, that's enough for now. I need a few minutes to regroup after dredging up all this and putting it on display - this is more shit than I've ever covered with a therapist.
Those two words open a big ole can of worms, so to speak ... and not just your garden variety earthworms and nightcrawlers either, there are some nasty Lovecraftian suckers in that can too.
As I stated previously, my parents were older when I was adopted, my mother was in her 50's and my father in his early 40's.
For the 1960's, not exactly the ideal ages that an agency would award a white male infant to, especially as a first child; later information confirmed this, that I was indeed a "private" adoption, aka "black market".
There are a number of reasons for this, both the adoption and why my parents - while I have nothing concrete to base it on, just the dynamics of the relationships between my mother and her siblings and my father and his, I'm pretty sure I'm close if not dead on.
Simply put, I was a reward. My mother was the oldest daughter, and the first American - as such, I believe she was put upon to help make good marriages for the rest of the family - incidentally, a job she apparently succeeded at, there were no divorces in that generation.
When the rest of the family were settled and producing grandchildren, then it became my mother's turn - exactly how she met my father is something that will never be known, however we were always told it was a blind date.
Regardless, they met and everything went in logical succession - love, engagement, marriage.
However, for whatever reason, and again this is complete conjecture on my part, my mother could not conceive - I believe probably due to her age at the time of her marriage, since my mother was about 15 - 16 years older than my father.
While women giving birth in their 40's and older is somewhat in vogue today due to advances in medical science, this was the late 50's to early 60's and such a thing was completely unheard of.
So, you have a conundrum...one I believe was answered by Fate in the form of teenage hormones. I have long suspected that I might have been fathered by one of my "cousins", however that's one of the Lovecraftian worms that I don't particularly care to deal with right now, so aside from a simple mention, it's not something I'll be addressing at this time.
Suffice it to say that the adoption went through, and about 2.5 years later, I was joined by a baby sister and we became the prototypical "nuclear" family; I've never delved into her adoption, however one memory does come to the fore - seeing her identical twin, in the exact same dress she owned, in the newspaper during a shopping trip.
Nothing more was ever said about that incident except for my parents to remark at the time that the girl in the picture looked exactly like my sister, down to the dress.
Okay, that's enough for now. I need a few minutes to regroup after dredging up all this and putting it on display - this is more shit than I've ever covered with a therapist.
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