Well, it arrived - the summary of the non-identifying information about my adoption.
And, as it turns out, the majority of my theories about the circumstances surrounding my adoption were correct, however as it turns out, my biological father isn't listed in the case record, and there is little to no further information about my birth mother's family either.
However, to quote: "According to the case record, the attorney who handled your adoption had handled several legal matters for your adoptive mother's family for years. <side note, this I already knew from Blake, who referred to him as "a crook" - coming from another lawyer, hard to tell if that's praise or judgement> He was aware of your adoptive parents' desire for a child and their inability to conceive children of their own. A few weeks prior to your birth, the attorney notified your adoptive parents of your birth mother's plan of adoption for you. Your birth mother 'was not able to provide a suitable home' for you. Shortly after your birth, the attorney took you to meet your adoptive parents and you were lovingly welcomed into their home. < I love how they editorialize and use "lovingly welcomed"... > Your adoptive parents paid the hospital bills and possibly for some of your birth mother's expenses. "
I was right. I was paid for.
Seems the Department of Public Welfare attempted to interview her, however she wasn't at the address listed in the case record. She signed me over to Sam & Faye on February 18, 1961, with the adoption finalized on August 3rd 1962.
There has been no contact with Georgia Adoption Registry from any member of my birth family since then.
Well, where do I go now? I'm wondering about paying the $300 to try and find her.
I wonder what I'll get with the $300?
What if they find her and she says "no" ? That's always a possibility.
Wow. This even overshadows your birth, Andrea. Sorry about that, I'm still thrilled beyond mortal comprehension that you're here and safe and healthy, but right now I've got this thrown on my plate, all about my birth and my adoption, and the potential for finding my birth mother.
And it's going to be an interesting next couple of months, lemme tell you.
Enough for now, I posted what I needed to, i.e. the verification of my theories surrounding my adoption.
I was right. Hell yeah, that does feel good.
Showing posts with label biologicals. Show all posts
Showing posts with label biologicals. Show all posts
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Biologicals, part 2b
Some quick clarifications need to be made - when I paid my $35 fee today for the non-identifying contents of my adoption file, I got to ask a few questions, and this is what I found out.
First off, if there is not a non-disclosure form in the file, then I can pay $300 and they'll find my birth mother and find out whether she will allow contact.
They will also check to see if she registered with them (Georgia Adoption Registry), and if she has, then they will try to set up contact.
Contact. Wow.
Andrea, I don't know if I'm going to be alive when you're capable of really understanding this blog, but this is why I'm writing it. It's both therapeutic for me and hopefully allows you some insight into me. This is really big - and it's something that's going to take months to unfold - but it's something I've put into motion because I simply had to.
Of course, I'm really thinking in terms of contact here - there's always the chance that there's a non-disclosure form in the file or my biologicals don't want to meet me for reasons of their own.
I don't fantasize that I'm going to gain a new family, however I confess to fantasizing about finding genetic siblings - in my eyes that would be so cool - a few years too late, but cool none the less.
So I'm going to hope that either my biological has registered or that there's no non-disclosure in my file - and find out in about 4-6 weeks, just in time for my 47th birthday, and your arrival.
About that - little darling, I hope you'll forgive me for not being there when you arrived, however here's something you'll have discovered for yourself by the time you read this blog - your Uncle Merlin absolutely positively abhors snow and given that you're going to be born in Kansas City, Missouri in the middle of winter, (it's not my fault your parents are heathen savages), 'nuff said.
(Aside to Jessica: I love you darlin' !! *smoooch* )
I've been spoiled by living in Atlanta, where it hardly ever snows - and if it does snow, the city and surrounding areas come to a grinding halt if there's an inch on the ground. Yes, you read that correctly, an inch. Unfortunately, you happen to live in an area that has 3 seasons - winter, tornadoes and road construction. And yes, you detect that note of gloat because I don't have to deal with snow that's measured in feet.
And I won't deal with snow that's measured in feet, either.
Don't worry, you'll love visiting me. I'm fun.
And believe it or not, your Grandfather Don is a hoot.
First off, if there is not a non-disclosure form in the file, then I can pay $300 and they'll find my birth mother and find out whether she will allow contact.
They will also check to see if she registered with them (Georgia Adoption Registry), and if she has, then they will try to set up contact.
Contact. Wow.
Andrea, I don't know if I'm going to be alive when you're capable of really understanding this blog, but this is why I'm writing it. It's both therapeutic for me and hopefully allows you some insight into me. This is really big - and it's something that's going to take months to unfold - but it's something I've put into motion because I simply had to.
Of course, I'm really thinking in terms of contact here - there's always the chance that there's a non-disclosure form in the file or my biologicals don't want to meet me for reasons of their own.
I don't fantasize that I'm going to gain a new family, however I confess to fantasizing about finding genetic siblings - in my eyes that would be so cool - a few years too late, but cool none the less.
So I'm going to hope that either my biological has registered or that there's no non-disclosure in my file - and find out in about 4-6 weeks, just in time for my 47th birthday, and your arrival.
About that - little darling, I hope you'll forgive me for not being there when you arrived, however here's something you'll have discovered for yourself by the time you read this blog - your Uncle Merlin absolutely positively abhors snow and given that you're going to be born in Kansas City, Missouri in the middle of winter, (it's not my fault your parents are heathen savages), 'nuff said.
(Aside to Jessica: I love you darlin' !! *smoooch* )
I've been spoiled by living in Atlanta, where it hardly ever snows - and if it does snow, the city and surrounding areas come to a grinding halt if there's an inch on the ground. Yes, you read that correctly, an inch. Unfortunately, you happen to live in an area that has 3 seasons - winter, tornadoes and road construction. And yes, you detect that note of gloat because I don't have to deal with snow that's measured in feet.
And I won't deal with snow that's measured in feet, either.
Don't worry, you'll love visiting me. I'm fun.
And believe it or not, your Grandfather Don is a hoot.
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Biologicals, part 2
Well Andrea, I've started the process to at least get some information about my biologicals. You may wonder why I've been using that term to refer to my genetic parents - the thing is, they're not my real parents, my real parents are Sam and Faye. And nothing can change that. Family comes from where and how and who you love, not genes.
Richard Bach wrote in his book, "Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah" that "it is rare that the members of one family grow up under the same roof."
The family I've "created" is living proof of that - just because we don't share DNA doesn't mean I don't love you like you were my own granddaughter. Never doubt that.
Anyway - back to the subject at hand - I've submitted the initial paperwork, and this is supposed to get me whatever's in my adoption file about my parents non-identifying characteristics.
I'm hoping that it sheds a little more light on the adoption itself, such as how it was achieved.
That is one of my most driving curiousities - I suspect - hell, I actually *expect* that money changed hands for my adoption, what I want to know is who paid for it.
You see, Andrea, Sam was a schoolteacher. And quite frankly, not the best paying job in the world.
On the other hand, all of Faye's siblings had either gone into lucrative careers or married men who did...Pattye married Harry, a CPA; Babe married Milt, an optometrist; Herm was an optometrist, Julius (retired when I was old enough to notice things like this) I believe based on what I can remember of family gossip, had a grocery store at one time and a liquor store at one time.
So, given this data, I theorize that Faye's brothers and sisters pooled their resources and bought me and 2.5 years later, bought Jolene, both to "repay" her for her sacrifices during their childhood (remember, they grew up during the Depression) , the marriages she had helped make, and the fact because she had married so late in life her childbearing years were behind her.
I'll post more about this later.
Richard Bach wrote in his book, "Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah" that "it is rare that the members of one family grow up under the same roof."
The family I've "created" is living proof of that - just because we don't share DNA doesn't mean I don't love you like you were my own granddaughter. Never doubt that.
Anyway - back to the subject at hand - I've submitted the initial paperwork, and this is supposed to get me whatever's in my adoption file about my parents non-identifying characteristics.
I'm hoping that it sheds a little more light on the adoption itself, such as how it was achieved.
That is one of my most driving curiousities - I suspect - hell, I actually *expect* that money changed hands for my adoption, what I want to know is who paid for it.
You see, Andrea, Sam was a schoolteacher. And quite frankly, not the best paying job in the world.
On the other hand, all of Faye's siblings had either gone into lucrative careers or married men who did...Pattye married Harry, a CPA; Babe married Milt, an optometrist; Herm was an optometrist, Julius (retired when I was old enough to notice things like this) I believe based on what I can remember of family gossip, had a grocery store at one time and a liquor store at one time.
So, given this data, I theorize that Faye's brothers and sisters pooled their resources and bought me and 2.5 years later, bought Jolene, both to "repay" her for her sacrifices during their childhood (remember, they grew up during the Depression) , the marriages she had helped make, and the fact because she had married so late in life her childbearing years were behind her.
I'll post more about this later.
Friday, November 30, 2007
Adoption - finding my biologicals
Wow.
I'm finally unpacking the boxes of books, and I came across a set of forms from 1992 - the forms are for identifying the biological parents of adoptees; in 1990, Georgia opened its adoption records, allowing adoptees to gain access to their biological information and possibly contact with their biologicals.
This is something I'd actually considered in 1992, however Faye was still alive and I promised never to search for my biologicals while she was still alive. Due to the circumstances of both my and Jolene's adoptions, I expect that money changed hands, and things might not have been exactly by the book.
Which means, Andrea, that the adoptions were black market; I've wondered and indeed fantasized whether I might not have been one of my cousin's teenage "accidents", however aside from a basic resemblance, I'm doubtful. A psychologist would probably identify that as a desire to actually belong biologically, however peripherally, to the family unit I was raised with.
So, now the issue becomes do I seek out my genetic information, and possibly contact my biological parents? I'm not so concerned with the people as I am the genetics.
I need to know what I'm predisposed to genetically - for example, does diabetes run in the family, or is my current course of treatment just a temporary thing?
How about heart issues? Cancer? Baldness? These are things I need to know - so I'm going to initiate the paperwork to find these things out.
According to the law, there are two categories I can apply for information under - one is genetic information only, no identifying characteristics, and the other is genetic information with the possibility of contact.
I'm going for the contact option. There are a number of questions I need answered about other possibly genetic quirks that can only be asked in person, such as psychic ability (and if that doesn't get me shown the door or hung up on I don't know what will) and other siblings.
Wow. To finally get some answers.
What a head rush.
I'm finally unpacking the boxes of books, and I came across a set of forms from 1992 - the forms are for identifying the biological parents of adoptees; in 1990, Georgia opened its adoption records, allowing adoptees to gain access to their biological information and possibly contact with their biologicals.
This is something I'd actually considered in 1992, however Faye was still alive and I promised never to search for my biologicals while she was still alive. Due to the circumstances of both my and Jolene's adoptions, I expect that money changed hands, and things might not have been exactly by the book.
Which means, Andrea, that the adoptions were black market; I've wondered and indeed fantasized whether I might not have been one of my cousin's teenage "accidents", however aside from a basic resemblance, I'm doubtful. A psychologist would probably identify that as a desire to actually belong biologically, however peripherally, to the family unit I was raised with.
So, now the issue becomes do I seek out my genetic information, and possibly contact my biological parents? I'm not so concerned with the people as I am the genetics.
I need to know what I'm predisposed to genetically - for example, does diabetes run in the family, or is my current course of treatment just a temporary thing?
How about heart issues? Cancer? Baldness? These are things I need to know - so I'm going to initiate the paperwork to find these things out.
According to the law, there are two categories I can apply for information under - one is genetic information only, no identifying characteristics, and the other is genetic information with the possibility of contact.
I'm going for the contact option. There are a number of questions I need answered about other possibly genetic quirks that can only be asked in person, such as psychic ability (and if that doesn't get me shown the door or hung up on I don't know what will) and other siblings.
Wow. To finally get some answers.
What a head rush.
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